Love is for the lionhearted

First off, I want to talk about how much I love cooking. I'm not that great at it, I'll admit... but I'm pretty damn good. Anytime I've got the time, motivation, and resources to cook up a great meal, I do pretty well. Tonight's dinner consisted of chicken fajitas with spinach, mushrooms, a green bell pepper, tomatillos, refried pinto beans, avocado, and mozzarella cheese. And, of course, Strawberry Serenity kombucha sparkling fermented tea to drink. Simple, I know, but so, so good.

Yes, I did just spend a paragraph to brag about my amateur cooking skills. What was more important about tonight's dinner, though, was that I got to share it with someone I consider a good friend, and a great person. I've been thinking a bit lately about what kinds of experiences really bond us together as people; why some relationships succeed and others miserably fail without any very good reason.

At this point in my life, I don't care much about what my career is going to be in the next five to ten years. I've given up trying to control that, because college is scary and confusing and it makes me nervous to think I've got to figure it all out right now. What I do know is this: I want to make deep, meaningful connections to the people around me. I want to give them all of the love and compassion and support I possibly can. I want to spend all of myself on making other people better, in the most general sense.

I'm not doing a very good job of that just yet. I get angry at people for the wrong reasons, I let my passions blind me to the sensitivities of others, and I hold back important parts of myself to keep relationships surface-deep. Concerning the latter, sometimes protecting your heart from people who can't take care of it is necessary. I realize that. My goal is to be so well enough on my own that I am able to share those pieces of myself more often.

My biggest goal, however, is to consistently improve the way I look at people. I want to see every person as worth my effort, time, and love. I want to care about the people in rural India so much that it makes me cry to see them in pain. I want to show my friends just how damn fond I am of them. I want to finally be able to love the woman who deemed me unworthy of her love. If I end up working in some dull office building the rest of my life, I want to find a way to meet the needs of all of the people around me the best way that I can.

And the best way I know to do all of this is to find out what bonds people together and welcome it into my life. People who love each other and meet each other's needs suffer together, eat together, laugh together. I want to suffer with the people who still live in storm-battered tents in Haiti. I want to eat with the homeless man who stands on the corner of my street. I want to laugh with the kid who doesn't speak any languages I know.

I've been concentrating so hard on making myself a better person. Now I want to use all of my energy to help other people be better.

I'm an idealist, I know. But isn't now the best time for that? I have few responsibilities, lots of options, and an excess in resources. I've got the world ahead of me.